Good News Tucson Magazine's Blog

The Premiere Christian Magazine for Southern Arizona

This is What Love Looks Like

By Cindy Wright

Before you married, would you have been brave enough to wear a pin saying, “This is what LOVE looks like?”

If you’re anything like my husband Steve and me, you might have considered it because you were so sure that your pre-marriage relationship epitomized “love” in every way.

Even during our first year of marriage, we were sure that our love was different from others– where together we could show the world how a relationship should look like. But then life settled in, and between this little problem and that huge one and the onslaught of life’s busyness, our “love” started to look as if it wasn’t even there.

It can be summed up in something author Gary Thomas once wrote (in his book, Sacred Marriage) concerning problems we could encounter after marriage. He wrote, “All our hopes, expectations, dreams, and ideals get poured into this real relationship. Because we marry a sinner, each day brings a new and often legitimate disappointment. Before long, we stop seeing what attracted us and instead become consumed by what disappoints us. Whereas before marriage our eyes filled with the glory of the person we had chosen to spend our lives with, now our eyes get filled only with their shortcomings” – which is what happened to us.

Eventually, our marriage looked more like an arrangement (and at times, a hostile one) rather than a marriage partnership. It got to the place where divorce probably would have happened if it weren’t for God waking us up (and continually working with us).

Through complicated events, the Lord showed us that what we thought was love, was actually more of a relationship connection that hadn’t been tested to the degree that it needed to be, so it could be a love that grows and reflects the love of Christ.

This month, we will be married 38 years and I can honestly say that I love my husband more today than I ever did (or thought possible). Both of us would be willing to wear the “This is what LOVE looks like” button. Actually we do… and so do you if you are married (even though it’s seen more in actions than written words).

Oh, you might not think you do, but in reality, it’s a lot like the Apostle Paul pointed out (in 2 Corinthians 3:2-3), “You, yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ… written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone, but on tablets of human hearts.”

And the letter you are writing (if you are a follower of Christ) is “This is what Christian married love looks like.” Or, “this is what Christian, persevering married love looks like” to a world that needs to see the love of Christ lived out in words and actions.

Your family, friends, neighbors, and others are watching you, more than you know. The question is: what kind of picture or testimony are you living out for them to read? Hopefully, it’s one that will point them to Christ and encourage them to want to know your God in a deeper way. As your relationship with the Lord deepens in a personal way, and He guides you in your interaction with your spouse, others will notice and God can use it as a vehicle to speak to their hearts as well.

If you are having a difficult time wearing a “LOVE” pin for all to see, today can be a new beginning. Be intentional in becoming a student of God’s love, marriage, and your spouse. Let God teach you HIS ways, rather than the world’s. Participate with God in doing your part in showing love to your spouse, and trust God to work within him or her as well.

“A new command I give you; Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13: 34-35).

… For more helpful marriage information go to


March 2, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

1 Comment »

  1. Because of the way my marriage has been going, God lead me to your magazine for me to see this artical on this topic.
    ( This is what love looks like) there is NO question in my mind that I was being asked by God to read the words and act in the Christian way for my marriage instead of the world ways that I have been doing .
    Thank you for the putting the words and scripture I needed to see.

    Comment by Connie Hummel | March 2, 2010 | Reply

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