“The doctor wants to see both of us.” – My wife has cancer.

With our first grandchild Aren.

When my daughters were growing up, the last thing they wanted to hear from me was, “I need to see you in my office.” Not that I had an office, but hearing that meant that;
1. They were in some form of trouble and
2. That the result would be a spanking, punishment, or even worst, a lecture.
So when my wife told me that the doctor wanted to see both of us, I knew this couldn’t be good. As we were hearing what the near future was going to be like for us and what the medical field had planned, with all the answers we were getting, not all of the questions were being addressed. With all of the natural questions regarding the treatment process and necessary lifestyle changes, the one big question that was answered almost immediately from within was “Why?” The answer, “That God might be glorified.”
Now a lot of family and friends are going to be impacted by this, but what about the three main lives? Jacki, me and the life we have together. What about us? For God to get the glory out of this chapter in our lives, what do we have to do? We have never been here before. We have been through a lot together, but nothing like this. This is at a whole new level.
Once we embraced the fact that God was in control, and true, this is at a new level, everything we had gone though individually and collectively was in preparation for “such a time as this.” In our spirits we believed that God was going to help us through the process and we would be left with a testimony and a greater trust in Him. This was not about Jacki nor I but more about the lives that her testimony was going to touch and restore hope for those in need.
As a husband and father, on the spiritual level I understood that I was also being tested and need to exercise faith and trust in God. On the natural level, I was challenged emotionally and intellectually.
Where was I going to get the strength to meet Jacki’s needs, reassure her that I love her and meant it when I said “…in sickness and health.” Be strong enough to hold the family together and let them see that what we tried to teach them about the power of God is no joke. That those far and near will see and hear the peace of God in our conversation and day-to-day interaction. How was I going to concentrate at work knowing my wife is suffering with a disease I can’t even pronounce? I didn’t know.
The one thing I did know was I didn’t have a choice. If I was going to be successful in all I had to do, and be true to my commitment to my God, my wife and my family, I had to rely on God to get me through this and to be obedient to His directions.
I believe that a blessed life in Christ is possible when you forego your opinions and discussions and take heed to His word. I have found when you develop “blind obedience” to the Word of God, you are executing based on your faith and trust in Him and I believe God honors that.

Christmas 2009

I was interviewed by a fellow journalism student who was working on an article about older people returning to school. During the interview, family life came up and I shared what Jacki and I had gone through. She asked, “How did you do it?” She seemed to be in disbelief that we could have been through so much and still be together. “I know some men would have left and buckled under the pressure,” she said. This may be true. When I told her I didn’t have a choice and there was no decision to make about caring for my wife, she wanted to debate that you always have a choice. After much discussion, I could see that this was a concept that she just didn’t get. The power of love and commitment when combined with Christ becomes one of the strongest forces known to man.
My wife is now over two years cancer free. I am excited and relieved as well. As I look back over the process, there were so many things going on it all is somewhat of a blur to me. I tried to do what I thought I had to do to the best of my ability. Yes I was scared. Felt helpless at times. Wished it was me instead. Couldn’t imagine what life would be like without my Jacki.
Thank God, I don’t have to.

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”
Philippians 4:13 (New International Version)